Traditional Eastern European Jewish joke:
"On a train
in czarist Russia, a Jew is eating a whitefish, wrapped in paper. A
Gentile, sitting across the aisle, begins to taunt him with various
anti-Semitic epithets. Finally, he ask the Jew, 'What makes you Jews
so smart?'
'All right,' replies the Jew, 'I guess I'll have to tell you. It's because
we eat the head of the whitefish.'
'Well, if that's the secret,' says the Gentile, 'then I can be as smart
as you are.'
'That's right,' says the Jew, 'And in fact, I happen to have an extra
whitefish head with me. You can have it for five kopecks.'
The Gentile pays for the fish head and begins to eat. An hour later
the train stops at a station for a few minutes. The Gentile leaves the
train and comes back. 'Listen, Jew,' he says, 'You sold me that whitefish
head for five kopecks. But I just saw a whole whitefish at the market
for three kopecks.'
'See,' replies the Jew, 'You're getting smarter already.'"
Novak/Waldoks,
The Big Book of Jewish Humor, HarperPerennial, 1989, p. 91
"Not surprisingly," note William Novak and Moshe Waldoks about
the above joke, "anti-goyism is rarely stressed in public discussions
of Judaism ... But centuries of hostility between Gentiles and Jews
have led to a large body of aggressive and unpleasant feelings on both
sides."
Novak/Waldoks,
The Big Book of Jewish Humor,
HarperPerennial, 1981
"All kinds of deception and cunning, of fraud
and trickery, devised and committed by Jews, either to get money or
to avoid paying money, are exposed and candidly revealed by Jewish jokes."
Theodore Reik,
Jewish pyschoanalyst,
Jewish Wit,
Gamut Press, NY, 1962, p. 67
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CDC Issues Warning to Jewish Doctors with Daughters. National
Lampoon, 2001.
"The Center for Disease Control issued a warning today to all physicians
born of Jewish descent that their daughters could be 1000 times more
likely than non-Jewish doctors' daughters to become slutty, sexually-charged
adultering whores. The CDC has already identified what they refer to
as a 'Major Slut-Whore Cluster' in Southern California. Tomorrow, they
plan to obtain blood and semen samples from Jewish M.D.'s in the region
including: Dr. Fleiss, father of Heidi Fleiss, Dr. Lewinsky, father
of Monica Lewinsky and Dr. Levy, father of Chandra Levy. Researchers
remain baffled as to why this strange disease: SDS (Slutty Daughter
Syndrome) seems to afflict only the daughters of Jewish doctors."
Jewish Jokes and
Anti-Semitism.
Australian Journal of Comedy, Vol. 1, No. 1, 1995
"It is not an easy matter to locate that line between acceptability
and nonacceptability. We might say that a Jewish joke is not anti-Semitic
if it is conveyed by Jews, to Jews, about Jews, and neither explicitly
asserts nor remotely implies disparagement of Jews as a group. It does
appear to be anti-Semitic if it contains over-simplified and deprecating
judgements and negative or inaccurate generalisations about Jews by
non-Jews, and directly or indirectly furthers malignant stereotypes
and/or leads to acts of intimidation, provocation, bigotry, prejudice,discrimination
or physical aggression. In reality however, the distinctions are far
more complicated and difficult to make, requiring a more careful, critical,
and dispassionate evaluation of intention, purpose, and consequence,
witting or unwitting."
Jewish
Anti-Deprecation League Protests New Woody Allen Movie. The
Onion
"The Jewish Anti-Deprecation League picketed the New York premiere
of Woody Allen's latest film, Waltzing With Schopenhauer, Monday,
arguing that it 'perpetuates misleading stereotypes of Jewish self-deprecation
that do not reflect the modern Jewish-American experience.' The JADL
is decrying Allen's portrayal of the film's lead character, Reuben Hirschhorn,
a Columbia University creative-writing professor who, despite achieving
considerable personal and career success, is plagued by severe self-doubt,
hypochondria, perceived sexual inadequacies, an inability to commit
to long-term relationships, existential angst, an obsessive fear of
death, and disturbing dreams involving his overbearing mother making
chicken soup for Nazi propaganda minister Josef Goebbels. 'Mr. Allen
has made a career out of presenting his own foibles and insecurities
as characteristic of all Jews,' JADL executive director Howard Klosterman
said. 'Jews are tired of seeing themselves routinely represented as
neurotics who can't enjoy their lives, no matter how successful, and
Mr. Allen is one of the primary perpetrators of this offensive cliche.'"
'I Am Not an Anti-Semite!'
jokezine.com
"'I am not an anti-Semite,' Hillary Clinton
declared in a beer hall in a German blue-collar neighborhood outside
of Buffalo, New York. She went on to explain, 'Die Rede ist von Miniatur-Lastwagen
- bis aufs kleinste Detail den großen Originalen nachgebaut. Und das
keineswegs nach Anleitung durch einen Bausatz, sondern der eigenen Kreativität
entsprechend' to a chorus of thunderous applause."
Ali's
Shocking Punch(line), Washington Post,
December 18, 2001
"We have always admired Muhammad Ali, so we hoped our ears were
deceiving us when we heard the 59-year-old former heavyweight champion
of the world tell a couple of off-color jokes at the Washington premiere
party for 'Ali,' the biopic starring Will Smith as the champ and Ron
Silver as trainer Angelo Dundee. As Ali took the microphone
at the Georgetown restaurant Cafe Milano – with Mayor Tony Williams
standing behind him on the podium – Ali's fourth wife, Lonnie, could
be heard advising him: 'No, no, no, don't.' But before a packed crowd
that included Silver, Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe,
former Republican party chairman Frank Fahrenkopf and plutocrat-philanthropists
Jim Kimsey and Joe Robert – Ali let 'er rip. 'What's the difference
between a Jew and a canoe?' the legendary boxer asked, his voice slightly
muffled from the effects of Parkinson's disease. 'A canoe tips!' The
crowd, which included more than a few Jewish folks, including Silver,
reacted with laughter – some of it uncomfortable."
Angered by
Snubbing, Libya, China, Syria Form Axis of Just as Evil,
satire.com, February 2002
""In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil'
-- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02 -- Bitter after being snubbed for membership
in the 'Axis of Evil,' Libya, China, and Syria today announced they
had formed the 'Axis of Just as Evil,' which they said would be way
eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned
of his State of the Union address ... While wondering if the other nations
of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted
approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the
Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay,' accusing one of its members
of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and
Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want
to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because
no one asked them."
Who Is
a Comedian?, The Gantseh Megillah,
Volume 3, Issue 3
"Listen to Jackie Mason: "A normal person wouldn't become
a comedian. The egomania, the neurosis, the need to overcompensate,
the feeling that life is meaningless without stardom - it's too much
suffering." So who becomes a comedian? Groucho Marx, Jack Benny, Milton
Berle, Lenny Bruce, Jerry Seinfeld, the list goes on and on. There must
be a reason here as well to explain not only why there are so many Jewish
comedians today, but also why Jews throughout the ages have been known
for their humor." [Jewish comedians cited by this web site include:
Bud Abbott (mother was Jewish, Abbott & Costello),
Woody Allen (Born Konigsberg), Marty Allen, JasonAlexander (Greenspan),
Tom Arnold (converted to Judaism, has some Jewish lineage), Joey Adams
(born Abramowitz, converted to Christian Science), Bea Arthur (born
Bernice Frankel, Golden Girls, Maud), Ed Asner (Lou Grant, Bronx Zoo),
Hank Azaria, Roseanne Barr, Richard Belzer, Richard Benjamin, Jack Benny
(Benjamin Kubelsky), Milton "Uncle Miltie" Berle (Berlinger), Sandra
Bernhard, Joey Bishop (the only living member of the "Rat Pack"), Elayne
Boosler, Victor Borge (Danish Jew, Rosenbaum), David Brenner, Fanny
Brice (Borach), Matthew Broderick (mother is Jewish, same as wife, Sarah
Jessica Parker), Albert Brooks (Einstein), Mel Brooks (Kaminsky), George
Burns (Nathan Birnbaum), Red Buttons (Aaron Chwatt), Lenny Bruce (Born
Leonard Alfred Schneider), Eddie Cantor (Iskowitch), Andrew Dice Clay
(Silverstein), Sid Ceasar, Billy Crystal, Rodney Dangerfield (Jacob
Cohen, later changed it to Jack), Larry David (seinfeld creator/producer,
star of "Curb your enthusiasm"), Fran Drescher, Marty "googly eyes"
Feldman, Fyvush Finkel, Al Franken, Mitchell Friedman (Voted #1 Jewish
Comic by the Young Jewish Alliance in 1999), Jackie Gayle, Brad Garrott
(Gerstenfeld, "Everybody Loves Raymond"), Larry Gelbart (M*A*S*H), Gilbert
Gottfried, Elliott Gould, Ellen Greene (Little Shop Of Horrors), Shecky
Greene, Steve Guttenberg, Buddy Hackett, Goldie Hawn, Buck Henry (Zuckerman),
Michael J. Herman ("The Next Big Thing" according to the LA Times),
Danny Hoch, Gabriel Kaplan, Jonathan Katz (Dr. Katz, comedy central),
Andy Kaufman, Danny Kaye (Kaminsky), Richard Kind, Andy Kindler, Alan
King, Robert Klein, Jack Klugman (Odd Couple), Lisa Kudrow, Carol Liefer,
Jerry Lewis (Jerome Levitch), Richard Lewis, Shari Lewis (Hurwitz, "Lambchops"),
Hal Linden (Barney Miller), Jon Lovitz, Mal Z. Lawrence, Norman Lear
(creator of The Jeffersons, All In The Family, Good Times), Bill Maher
(mother is Jewish), Howie Mandel, Sally Marr (Lenny Bruce's mother,
Joan Rivers portrayed her on Broadway), Marc Marron, The Marx Brothers,
Jackie Mason (Maza), Walter Matthau (Matuschanskayasky), Elaine May
(May/Nichols), Anne Meara (Stiller/Meara, converted to Judaism), Lorne
Michaels (Lipowitz), Marilyn Michaels, Larry Miller, Rick Moranis (Ghostbusters,
Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, Little Shop of Horrors), Zero Mostel, Taylor
Negron (mother is Jewish), Mike Nichols (filmmaker, The Graduate, The
Bird Cage, born Peschwosky), Super Dave Osbourne (brother of Albert
Brooks, born Einstein), Kevin Pollak, Sarah Jessica Parker (mother is
Jewish, same as hubby, Matthew Broderick), Rhea Pearlman, Freddie Prinze
Sr. (father was Hungarian Jew), Freddie Prinze Jr., Gilda Radner, Harold
Ramis (actor/director, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, Groundhog Day), Tony
Randall (Rosenberg), Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner, Paul Reiser, Paul Reubens
(born Rubenfeld, aka Pee Wee Herman), Don Rickles, The Ritz Brothers,
Joan Rivers (Molinsky), Freddy Roman, Rita Rudner, Bob Saget, Mort Sahl,
Soupy Sales (Supman), Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider (half-Jew), Sherwood
Schwartz (Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch), Robert Schimmel, David
Schwimmer, George Segal, Jerry Seinfeld, Harry Shearer, Sarah Silverman,
Mitzi Shore (owner of The Comedy Store), Pauly Shore (son of Sammy &
Mitzi), Sammy Shore, Gary Shandling, Bobby Slayton (father is Jewish),
Barry Sobel, David Steinberg, Matt Stone (Southpark), Yakoff Smirnoff
("What a Country!"), Jerry Stiller (Stiller/Meara), Ben Stiller, Peter
Sellers (mother was Jewish), Howard Stern (contrary to his popular "half-Jew"
shtick, Howie is a full blooded Jew), Jon Stewart (Leibowitz), Teller
("Penn & Teller, born Raymond Teller, father is Jewish), Brother Theodore
(Born Gottlieb, frequent favorite of David Letterman), The Three Stooges
(Horowitz), Bruce Vilanch, Gene Wilder (Jerome Silberman), Billy Wilder
(Some Like It Hot), Henry Winkler ("The Fonz" on Happy Days), Robert
Wuhl, Henny Youngman.]
Queer
Settlers Land on Berkeley Starbucks,
QUIT!, August 2002
"About 25 queer settlers descended on a downtown Berkeley Starbucks
[the Starbucks chain is owned by Jewish Zionist activist Howard Schultz]
on Saturday, August 17, claiming Berkeley as 'a city without people
for people without a city.' The group, organized by Queers Undermining
Israeli Terrorism (QUIT!), posted a banner proclaiming the reclaimed
café 'Queerkeley – A Prophecy Fulfilled.' They also erected homes (transformed
'Palestinian civilian homes reclaimed from another street theatre action),
lawn furniture, and signs reading, 'It Works In Palestine, Why Not Here?'
and 'It’s Ours Because We Say So.' They erected plastic palm trees to
'make the concrete bloom,' and gave patrons a tract explaining their
religious claim to the land ...
CARTOONS
Work
Brings Freedom/War Brings Peace
Daily
Cartoon, by M. Kahil, May 8, 2002
Arab News
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